So this past week, I was really in the thick of it.
And by “it,” I mean the valley of despair that comes when you have so much to do across multiple projects that you don’t even know what to do next…while also feeling like everything you’re making kinda sucks.
That moment of “This project is amazing! Life is amazing!” way in the rearview mirror. My mental state was more like…
“This is the worst. Why can’t I make anything good? Do I just suck at everything?”
It reminded me of that creative process chart that floats around the internet:
The Creative Process:
- This is awesome.
- This is tricky.
- This is crap.
- This is really crap.
- I am crap.
- Maybe this is okay?
- Oh, this is actually awesome!
I’ve always loved it, not just because it makes me laugh, but because it’s also deeply encouraging. More than anything, it reminds me that we all experience the same highs and lows.
But this week, for the life of me I couldn’t find the diagram anywhere on the internet. So…I did what every 36-year old millennial creative does and asked ChatGPT: “WHAT THE HECK DID THAT IMAGE LOOK LIKE AGAIN?”
And this is what it looks like in all its uncanny valley AI glory!
It makes me laugh every time because it’s true. But it’s also important. Because if you don’t internalize the main idea, this phase will either keep you moving forward or completely derail you.
Every project begins with excitement. You can almost taste how great the final product will be.
Then life shows up. Not enough time, that collaborator you love working with isn’t on the same page, the executive suite disagrees on ideal outcomes…OH, yeah, and have you noticed it’s actually just really hard to make something GOOD, let alone EXCELLENT?
I think this is the moment most people misdiagnose. They think:
- “We picked the wrong idea.”
- “I’m not actually good at this.”
- “Maybe this project was a mistake.”
But as a filmmaker who’s been working professionally since my teens (and just ask my kids: I’m REAAALLY old), I can tell you: this moment isn’t failure. It’s actually proof you’re on the right track. It’s the normal friction that comes from making anything meaningful.
Ira Glass (famed host of This American Life) talks about this beautifully: when you hate your own work, it’s often because your taste is outpacing your ability to execute. That’s normal. And it means you care.
But I’ve also noticed a corollary: Even after decades of experience, you never skip the “this doesn’t live up to the hope” phase. For most of a project’s life, it isn’t there yet. And living in that gap is where the pain comes from.
But it’s also an encouragement. It means you’re on the right path. And if you push through it, that end-vision in your mind is achievable.
Speaking from my own experience: Every finished film I’m proud of has passed directly through that valley. And just to be clear: It’s not MOST. Not SOME. It’s EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
And over the last 20 years, I’ve recognized that I’m not alone.
Last fall, Distant Moon quietly launched ORBIT, a director partnership program with some of the best filmmakers of my generation. Each of them is working on huge things that impact the world. Angel Studios series. Youtube empires. Projects with brands like Sony and Marvel.
And all of them face the “this is crap” phase. BUT, they’ve all learned to stop asking “Is this project bad?” or “Do I just suck?”
Instead, they ask better questions:
- What’s not clear yet?
- What’s trying to emerge?
- What does this actually need from me now?
Asking these questions is important, because if the right questions aren’t asked, I often see people overcorrect, like a pendulum. And as a result, they confuse discomfort with failure and abandon good ideas too early (often right before breakthrough would have occurred).
Ok, so what’s the takeaway?
If the work feels hard, it’s because it’s becoming significant.
If its hard and doesn’t matter, you just stop. If it matters but isn’t hard, you’re probably not making something lasting. If its hard AND it matters, you push through and make something meaningful. The fantasy idealistic phase is over. The responsibility phase has begun. So push through, ask the right questions, and know you’re not alone. Everyone doing something meaningful faces the valley of despair.
You’ve got this. Here’s to Human flourishing.
-Ian
Oh. and here’s a picture of me on set of a recent film, struggling through a scene that wasn’t clicking. Its worth it once you make it work!
P.S. – I’m hosting a special invitation-only session at NRB next month called “The Future of Film.” If you’re going to be there (or in Nashville area) on February 20th. I’d love to see you there! Structurally based on the idea of a mastermind session, we’re showcasing work from some of the nation’s leading nonprofits and discussing the state of the industry and where we’re headed.
Join leaders and thinkers from Global Outreach International, Prison Fellowship, Mission Aviation Fellowship, Ligonier Ministries, Charity Water, and more. And hear incredible insights from marketing strategist Allen Thornburgh, veteran producer Bobby Downes, and myself. It will be a really beneficial time for all involved.